


Two Burkes, an Ex-Con, and a Baby

by mydeira



Category: White Collar
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 13:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydeira/pseuds/mydeira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal froze with the mug halfway to his lips, the aroma of fresh Italian roast tantalizing his senses despite the curveball suddenly thrown his direction by the unflappable Elizabeth Burke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Burkes, an Ex-Con, and a Baby

When you entered into a threesome, the last question you expected to be asked by your partners was:

“So, how do you feel about children?”

Neal froze with the mug halfway to his lips, the aroma of fresh Italian roast tantalizing his senses despite the curveball suddenly thrown his direction by the unflappable Elizabeth Burke. “In a general sense? Or…something more specific?”

She opened her mouth to speak, the faintest trace of uncertainty crinkling her warm eyes, but Peter chose that moment to come bounding down the stairs. “Oh God, that’s June’s blend, isn’t it?” He sounded like he’d just encountered the gates of Heaven, until he realized neither Neal nor El had responded. “Am I interrupting something?”

Neal took refuge in his coffee and earned a knowing look from Elizabeth. Coward, her eyes accused.

She turned her attention to her husband. “I was just asking Neal how he felt about kids.”

“Uh…” Peter seemed to be as shell-shocked as Neal felt. “Why?”

“A girl likes to know these things,” she replied easily. Too easily, but Neal supposed one of them needed to keep their cool here.

“Right.”

Neal pushed a chair out with his foot. “Have a seat, Peter. And some coffee.”

Peter wavered a moment, then sat, frowning in that way he had when the pieces wouldn’t quite fall into place like they should. “Why?” he asked again.

“Sweetie, you’re starting to sound like a broken record. Have some coffee,” she instructed, then turned to Neal. “You never answered my question.”

“I… Why?” he echoed Peter, fearing her response.

“Neal, I expect such a reaction from my husband, but I thought you’d be quicker on your feet.” She was smiling, though, indulgent.

“I like kids and they seem to like me.”

He expected some smartass comment from Peter, but the man was apparently still recovering.

“As for…having them? I guess I’ve never been against the idea, but my life has never really been conducive to it as a reality.” Back when he’d been young and Kate had been all that mattered, yeah, down the road, he’d wanted that. But she’d been dead-set against the idea. And being a conman on the run wasn’t the best life to raise a kid in. As he knew firsthand. He wouldn’t trade his mom or the childhood he’d had for the world, yet he wouldn’t endorse it for his own kids.

“Isn’t this a conversation we should be having privately, El?” Peter finally joined in.

“We’ve had this conversation. It was never a possibility, so we moved on.” Elizabeth’s calm front wavered but quickly slid back into place.

Neal had wondered why it was just Peter and El and Satchmo. He’d always thought they’d make good parents, once Peter got over his initial nervousness and El steered clear of the soufflés.

“But now, with Neal, it is,” Peter stated, a note of surprise underlying the words, as if he should have realized it sooner.

“How much of a possibility are we talking here?” Neal ventured. If they were discussing this at all, something told him it was well past maybe and heading towards pretty likely.

Elizabeth’s cheeks colored faintly, but she remained composed as if was dinner they were discussing and not, well this. “I’ve got an appointment with my doctor this afternoon. Being a month or so late isn’t unusual for me. And it wouldn’t be the first time I had a false positive on a home test.”

Judging by the tightness around Peter’s eyes, it was well past the first time and then some.

Neal forced a smile. “Well, El, I’ll say this. That’s a hell of a lot more effective than June’s coffee first thing in the morning.”

Her laughter was strained but genuine. “I knew I could count on you, Neal.”

***

Peter was quiet on the drive in. No surprise there.

Neal debated the merits of starting a conversation or keeping quiet and waiting for Peter to talk, if he was ever ready.

Neal always had trouble taking the safest course of action. “Why didn’t either of you say anything?”

Peter’s lips compressed into a thin line.

“Right, none of my business.” Though with a relationship inching towards five years, it should entitle him to something. Then again, he was the odd man out. Yeah, he was mostly an equal player in things between him and Peter and El, but the fact remained that it had just been El and Peter long before he came on the scene. He’d made his peace with that long ago, and a lot quicker than many things in his life. Still—

He was surprised when Peter’s hand settled on his thigh, giving a light squeeze before returning to the wheel. “No, actually it is your business. It was just something El and I had put behind us a long time ago, so it never occurred to either of us to bring it up.”

That was a lot more than Neal could have expected Peter to say. In some tiny way, that made him relax. Even after all this time, part of him still didn’t expect this thing to last.

“Look on the bright side, Neal, at least she waited until after we finished with the Eschenbach forgery case.”

Yeah, this wasn’t all that good for focus. “El’s a smart woman, no denying that.”

Today all they had on the schedule was paperwork wrapping up Eschenbach. For once in his life, Neal was glad for the red tape that so often made him miserable.

***

Mozzie met him for lunch at a café two blocks from the Bureau offices.

“They haven’t had you on a leash for a couple years, yet they’ve made you a slave to routine,” Mozzie said by way of greeting.

“Moz, we only started eating here because you liked the grilled cheese.”

“Croque monsieur, you heathen.”

Neal rolled his eyes and stabbed at his salad.

It wasn’t until halfway through his sandwich that Mozzie finally asked, “Okay, what’s with the aura of doom and gloom?” His eyes went wide behind his thick glasses. “Not Canine Suit.”

Bug a dog once and he was a friend for life, apparently. “No, Satch is still pretty spry.”

“You didn’t have a fight with the Suits, did you?”

“No, no fight.”

Moz got the ah ha look, like he’d hit upon the answer at last. “The bloom’s finally gone off the rose, hasn’t it?”

“Christ, Moz!” Neal forced his voice back down to a more conversational level. “Are you ever going to couch my relationship with El and Peter in anything but euphemism?”

Mozzie shrugged, nonplused. “While I am happy that you have found a place to call home, my friend, I prefer to keep details vague as possible. Not all of us like imagining the Suit naked.”

Neal smirked. “You’d be surprised.”

“That was cruel and uncalled for. Take it back at once!”

“No.”

“Neal, as your best friend, I beg you.”

“Fine, fine,” Neal relented, “I take back naked Peter.”

Mozzie glared at him but still said, “Thank you,” before settling back into his lunch. Two bites later, he asked, “So what is wrong?”

It might not even be an issue. Hadn’t El said as much this morning? Just preparing the road in the unlikely event. “Elizabeth might be pregnant. And it’s pretty clear that if she is, it isn’t Peter’s.”

The sandwich dropped to Mozzie’s plate. “You put a bun in Mrs. Suit’s oven?”

Neal wanted to crawl under the table. “A little louder, Mozzie, I don’t think the wino in the alley over there heard you.”

“Sorry, man, but…seriously?”

Neal nodded.

“That’s… You can never leave well enough alone, can you? You had a good thing going and now bam!”

“Hey, now, I didn’t know! El’s on the pill, and once we all got tested—”

Mozzie covered his ears.

Neal stared him down. “You pried, so you have to deal with the consequences. Now cowboy up.” At least it had taken him this long to start sounding like Peter.

“You’re the one with consequences, Neal. What happens if Mrs. Suit does spawn?” Mozzie pressed. “Does Baby Suit have two daddies or are you Uncle Neal?”

It was a low blow but a valid point. “We’re still dealing with ‘if’ here.”

“Maybe this was their plan all along, use you as a stud.”

No, that was the low blow. “Thanks a lot, Moz.” Before he could say something he could regret, Neal stood, threw some cash on the table, and walked off. The hurt look on Mozzie’s face at realizing that he’d let his mouth run ahead of him didn’t help one bit.

By the time Neal reached the office, it hit him that Mozzie might actually be right.

***

Another quite car ride, this time from Neal’s end, not Peter’s.

“What happened at lunch?” Peter sounded genuinely concerned.

Ignoring Peter worked about as well as it did with Mozzie. In the end, it was easier to answer. Although, the less Neal said, the better. “Nothing much. Mozzie was being his usual self.”

Peter nodded. “So you told him about El.”

“You know, I really hate that you know me so well.”

“Hazards of the job.” For a change he actually sounded sorry instead of, well, using it to rib Neal as he so often did.

Neal slumped in his seat. He might as well tell Peter now, before they got home, before it could blow up in all of their faces. “This is going to sound stupid. And I know it’s stupid.”

“Clearly not stupid enough to not bother you.”

Neal took a deep breath. “I’m not going to be Uncle Neal, am I?” It was safer than the stud route.

Of all the responses Neal had expected, laughter was not it. “Damn it, but I think we do deserve each other.”

Before Neal could ask what he meant, Peter was turning down their street and pulling into the first available space.

As Neal started to get out, Peter caught his arm. “Not yet, I think we should talk first.”

It could have sounded more ominous.

Neal finished unfastening his seatbelt but remained there. “All right. Once you explain what’s so damned amusing.”

Peter had sobered, somewhat. “Yes, we both wanted children, but neither of us were suited for it. Well, I’m definitely not capable and it was never going to be easy for her to conceive, as in possible but highly unlikely. And that was the end of it.”

Which only further served to make Neal feel like an utter ass for even entertaining Mozzie’s crazy notion.

“El only went on the pill when this thing with the three of us started. She and I had never needed it, save in the early days before we’d known.” Peter ran his hands along the wheel. “And slim as the chance was, it wasn’t a risk we wanted to take.”

“Yet to the best of all intentions…” Neal trailed off.

“We’ll deal with whatever happens if it happens.” Peter looked at him. “And I mean we as in the three of us. Understood?”

“Yeah.” Neal found himself genuinely smiling for the first time all day. “Although, maybe being Uncle Neal wouldn’t be so bad. I could spoil the kid rotten and you guys get to discipline it.”

“Oh no, if anyone gets to claim that right, it’s me.” Peter was grinning.

“You never let me take the easy way.”

“And aren’t you glad?”

Neal couldn’t argue with that. Finally, he said, “We’d better get inside. You know how Elizabeth gets if she thinks we’ve been making out in the car.”

“That’s not really a deterrent.”

It wasn’t going to be easy, but things would work out. Whatever happened.


End file.
